#fuck that thing went hard
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Literally bugambilia
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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KAEYA BIRTHDAY ??? ?? i love you mr alberich sir i love you oh so so so much.
uh dialogue for this one but more legible under the cut (and a messy ragbros page)
Klee: Kaeya! Come down here! Kaeya: Oh? heh. What is it, Spark Knight?
Klee: Happy Birthday! It is today? Right? I even double-checked with Albedo and everything but I don't know... Klee: It's a Calla Lily! You like those, right? Kaeya: I certainly do! Thank y- Klee: Oh. Klee: OK OK OK- Kaeya: Hm? Klee: Kaeya you have to promise to not tell Master Jean about this one! Kaeya: You can count on me to keep my lips sealed.
Klee: OK! Close your eyes- eye- and hold out your hands! Kaeya: Mhm! Klee: OK! You can open them! TA-DA~!
Klee: I made a bomb for you! It even has an eyepatch! He can look after you when I'm somewhere else. Take good care of him! Oh yeah- He explodes if you- Kaeya?
Kaeya: Thank you Klee! Thank you very much! Klee: You're VERY welcome Kaeya!
a lil ragbros too.... kaeya and his red siblings amirite (bursts into tears).. also i am so obsessed with chibi diluc saying "bring em in..."
#I LOVE YOU KAEYA#these were all drawn in the past two daysashhsdgg#i was originally planning on starting like at least a week in advance bc i wanted to do one big ambitious piece but that didnt end up happe#ing... instead he gets a little comic a bigger comic and a page and my undivided attention#genshin impact#kaeya alberich#kaeya#genshin impact kaeya#genshin kaeya#im putting em all in here f u#klee#diluc ragnvindr#ragbros#none of that kaeluc shit here alright thank you or go fuck off ok epic#my art#sona#these r all improvised. i went about the klee comic in the stupidest way possible bc apperantly i love making things hard for myself..#not like it was my fault- it was just supposed to be a concept for a finished piece and not turn into a little comic but i have no self con#rol clearly so now its here and i am jsut kinda sleepy sry#kaeya has been my genshin blorbo for over three years ok i needed to express a little of my feelings about him somehow#OK YAY ITS OFFICIALLY THE 30TH IN MY TIMEZONE SO I CAN POST THIS OK OK YEAH#HAPPY BDAY KAEYA AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭💖💖💖#this entire post is just me sobbing over how much i adore him#is this the longest wall of notes from me yet.. idk but it might be#ok anyways i love kaeya a lot send me anything kaeya and i will love you forever and ever and i should really go to sleep now i think#... .kaeya 🥰🥰🥰
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I have so many thoughts on Arcane which I'll get to eventually, but before that I just have to say...
ANYONE who is complaining about how short and rushed this season was, or how little time we got with certain characters/plots... don't blame the creators or the writers.
Blame the streamers. Those studios, Netflix in particular, are the ones who are responsible for destroying TV and cutting seasons in half, and then limiting most shows to 2 seasons. Television has suffered so much because of their greed. Those studios aren't run by artists, they're run by moneymen. They don't care about your shows, they don't care about the stories or the characters or the fans, they just want money. And they mismanage their money so much it's fucking sickening.
And yes, it is a choice. It doesn't have to be this way, and there can be exceptions. The finale of the last season of Stranger Things was 2 and a half hours long. It was it's own movie.
So blame the streamers. Blame them every single day until we get greedy asshole's hands off of our art so that we have the space to present our stories in the way they deserve.
EDIT: To be clear when I say streamers, I'm talking about the studios, particularly the ones like Netflix/Disney/Hulu that can only be watched on the internet via streaming apps. Broadcast television used to be, and still is in some cases (Blue Bloods, Grey's Anatomy season 87...), 20-23 episode seasons. With story and nuance and side quests and growth.
#fck the studios#the art is dead#it is only about money now#i'm shocked at how well this season went considering how little time they had#arcane s2#arcane#arcane season 2#jayvik#caitvi#jinx#timebomb#so many things they have could have expanded on#that would have easily covered the 22 episodes that tv used to be#honestly it's hard to work in this industry and witness first hand#how badly studios fuck over movies and shows#they RESENT creators#and then it's worse to come on here#and see everyone blame the writers#the writers who often have to FIGHT tooth and nail to keep in some of your favorite content#ugh. it's so exhausting.#next time you're mad a creator#remember there's a greedy corporate asshole behind them who's tying their hands
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Thinking again about how many disabled people end up getting shunted into art/craft work because like. You can technically do it. Sometimes. Yeah you make a pittance at best and are almost certainly going to make your physical health worse by pushing yourself to get things done, but what else are you gonna do? You're too sick for anyone to hire you. You're "not sick enough" to qualify for benefits. Just devote every scrap of time and energy you have to a chronically underpaid, low-prestige, incredibly labor-intensive industry. A few people manage to make it work with luck and help and the right skills. Many people don't. Everyone gets pressured to monetize their hobbies, but it's especially insidious if you're disabled because any tiny thing you manage to accomplish to bring yourself joy gets twisted into proof that you should somehow be able to work.
#curseblogging#the thing is like#i went to bookbinding school#i saw what it was like to try to make a living as a craft worker for able-bodied people with significant starting resources#and the answer is: fucking hard!#people generally being like well if you work long hours and never allow yourself a break#and do a bunch of events and shows and teaching#and are good at not just the work but at finances and marketing and every other aspect of business management#(and ideally have a spouse with a regular job so you don't have to pay for your own healthcare. because this is America)#then maybe#MAYBE#you can make a reasonable living as a craftsperson#but this same VERY DIFFICULT PROFESSION#gets pushed on disabled people as something obvious and easy#and a lot of people do try their best to make it work because what other choice do they have?!
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my brothers been playing elden ring recently and he let me draw his character ^_^
#cant remember the original context for drawing his character pinned against the wall by Malenia#i just remember thinking it would be funny LOL. he really likes her armor but doesnt like the foot gear cuz of her weird toes#i think theyre supposed to be prosthetics...?? but im not really interested in playing elden ring so i didnt bother to look it up#i think the preceptors set especially the hat looks really cool.. i love how the brim has stars and planets shaped like a solar system#so cool.. the sanguine noble robe and travelers chestpiece have to be my favorites but i also like the night maiden headdress#its just a little hard to pair it with other armor pieces bc i like things for The Drip. the gloves with the cloth lining are soo pretty#he also gave his character a cool blind eye by making the left eye white and then adding a scar over it and it SEVERELY FUCKS#he let me pick the hair and i went for short hair cuz it felt the most practical. but he doesnt give his player character any kind of#backstory either so he doesnt think abt it that hard. too busy fighting eldritch bird fetus dragons i guess. i like rya though#my art#myart#doodles#oc#??? sort of?????#elden ring#malenia blade of miquella#elden ring malenia
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nothing (besides everyone ignoring Orym's deal) has made me angrier than watching Dorian keep up this facade. Dorian Storm has always been a type of mask he's worn. At first he called himself a liar because of it. The happy go lucky bard was a way of escaping for him. He was escaping Brontë so he created Dorian. He didn't believe he was Dorian. Until the Crown Keepers made Dorian real. And for a while, he really believed he was Dorian. That he has this new family and new life and he could be who he truly wanted to be.
And then his brother came back and made his problems Dorian's problems. Until he had to put Brontë back on. Because even if the Crown Keepers + Cyrus called him Dorian, he was Brontë. He had to be who his brother thought he was.
When Cyrus dies, the thread to Brontë had snapped. He was going to see Orym, back to the Bells Hells, back to Dorian Storm. But the foundation of Dorian had shattered. Dorian was created in order to run from his place in life, family, Cyrus. Now he was gone. The Crown Keepers had fallen apart. His friends fell through his fingers and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was once ready to side with a betrayer god for these people and now they're in the wind.
So Dorian shows back up to Bells Hella and he's completely broken. The foundation of both of his lives has been thoroughly rocked. No brother. No Crown Keepers. The two things that forged Dorian Storm. He wears that mask so fucking well. Because he still wants to believe in it. He said it live on stage that he should "believe his own backstory". The one he made up. The one where he was a bard.
He wants to be Dorian so bad. He spends all his money on Orym, he spins the bottle so he can kiss his friends, he flirts, he blushes and giggles at compliments. Exactly how Dorian would, should.
But he wears the gold of the heir. He has a festering animosity inside his chest. He doesn't sleep. He's thinner than he was. He doesn't sleep. He sicks abominations after their creators. He talks to God's without an ounce of self preservation, daring them to strike him down. He does not acknowledge them as they taunt him.
The god of beauty and magic calls him beautiful and he does not smile.
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#cr 3 e 107#dorian storm#got carried away in both the post and the tags again#this was supposed to be an add on from those tags yesterday#but i went off the fucking rails so hard im gonna have to make another post#and listen.#i know people are ✨ multifaceted ✨#but i think its interesting to peel apart the layers of dorian storm.#because i do think all of this is just dorian.#like the rest of us he would not be here if not for his family. his brother. the crown keepers. bells hella.#he is informed by the things that happened in the past. none of these identities could have happened on their own#but if we're looking at the arch as a whole#theres the bronte era. the dorian era. and then era where they got very muddy. and the era now.#i dont feel like he's suddenly a secret third person now#but you know how we all look at the past versions of ourselves and wonder how theyd feel about us now?#dorian just has names for them#and because there was a mixing of both his lives i think dorian is having a hard time reconciling into one#he tries very hard to be both himselves#the man contains multitudes for sure#and idk i just keep picturing him as a little bronte. and exu dorian is smiling and singing with him. he tells him all about their friends#and current dorian looking at them. afraid to approach. afraid theyll ask about their future. afraid to tell them.#but theyd probably figure it out. hes wearing gold after all.
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#dunsparce#bald#the thing about this creature is. it's silly from all angles#so it's hard to find a particularly Silly angle#big shoutouts to gates to infinity‚ though?? i ship this fucker with emolga?? get over virizion???#this was also that one post that somebody blazed. back when the original ffp one went up#no clue why they did that but reading the impressions report afterward was fucking hilarious and proof that blaze does nothing
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I truly believe Will Wood is an incredible musician and songwriter and is one of the top lyricists in the last decade both in and outside of the genres that he chooses to play in with absolutely zero irony. I also believe that you can only fully understand that if you’ve either had a pet die before listening to his music or you have a history of drug abuse and mental health crises. Or you’re trans.
#this may sound like a snooty post where I’m just upholding my own favorite music as the best#but honestly it’s in response to a lot of fans I’ve seen be really self critical?#like yeah haha I listen to bad music#and I also have been known to joke about my own weird taste#but here’s the thing! from a technical level! his music! goes hard! it is experimental and that is GOOD#and lyrically listen I listen to a lot of music#I’m even familiar with top forty stuff and while yes the content of his songs is very niche#the lyricism is so genuinely clever and playful and ugh god#ok anyway. sorry#listened to Will wood again#and also this post is about the fact that I first I didn’t get it.#and then I went to a really low point. and suddenly I got it#ok it cracked me open like a fucking egg#music#text#personal#kinda
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i really hold professional adult conversation and eye contact with clients and then turn around waxing poetic about how I want to have a threesome with Deadpool and Wolverine
#sometimes the only things in life is being sandwiched by the two of them#all i ask is to remember each and every vein#at the same time every time#“thank you for your help! you've been great” you have no idea#the filth running through my mind rn. can you stop talking to me now? thank you.#until their color schemes turn me orange#until logan's claws come out#until wade finally shuts the fuck up#they went all night and day in that honda. i wanna set a new record#clear the slate you know?#brainrotcharacters#i'm disappointed in myself before any of you could be.#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#deadpool 3#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#oh to be spitroasted between deadpool and wolverine#the suits stay on? sometimes. we're willing to experiment#aftercare is not only accepted but encouraged#i need to be screwed hard and afterward cuddled soft by them#shut me up? shut me up
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AUU FUCK I FORGOT I MADE THIS. it started out as a single little sketch and hten i woke up with glass in my arm. dont look too hard at the lighting. or the lines. or the anything. this whole fuckin episode was so fun HAHAHAH i love skin and terror.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#FUNFACT! I DRAW GILLION WITH SHARP TEETH NORMALLY. DOPPLE GILLY GETS SMOOTH TEETH. DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE?#THIS WAS ALSO RLY FUN TO DRAW... i didnt try too hard i just had fun or whatever. i love colors. and limited pallets. HEHEH#i also LOVE TRYING TO INSTILL THAT FEELING OF UNEASE THROUGH THE HUMBLE STILL IMAGE.. the swirls n the MENACING symbols with gill#he gets the reflecty eyes and strange smile. I ALSO LIKE THE LIL LIGHTBULB NEAR CHIP#i think its fun to try to find small images with the intent of communicating another thing happening. like. thinking! cogs and lights#im also happy with the fact that i went with just using the brightest color for the text. i wrestled with speech bubbles for a MINUTE!!!#OH AND ANOTHER FUNFACT. i give gillion very specific coral pattern with 2 points on the first two n 3 points on the last#i reversed that for dopplegilly. just another fucked up little art tactic from little ol me
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it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.
like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips
because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.
bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.
and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.
these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?
and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.
in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.
it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.
and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.
"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."
"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."
#it's almost as if you spent your entire life fucking denying us things and then get mad when god forbid#we point out that you've been denying us something#writeblr#almost as if . u ACTUALLY think women dream of being in a male-run society#like dude mostly i dream about not having a tummy ache#love when ppl tell me that men have to deal with more rejection than women do#im like. just say u have never had a hard day in ur fucking life. if u think the most difficult experience is getting turned down at a bar#men: this one movie doesn't suck my entire -#women: yeah so i went to the doctor and was bleeding out of my eyeballs but like the doctor said#it was probably just my time of the month i guess?#anyway so i died there and had to be revived but they think i faked dying bc it was hysterics#so i took 3 advil and now im back at work i guess
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ao3 user unfortunatelyevent suggested Jester should be wearing a hat that says 'evil aligned wizards want AND fear me' on my fic 'a heart that howled' and i couldn't get the image out of my head
#i meant it to just be a sketch#but then i was like WHAT IF i colored it how fast could i do that#and then i promptly forgot every trick i knew about efficient coloring asldkasdfjk#the quality of this is turning to dogshit as soon as i post to tumblr#but i SWEAR this is actually the cleanest art ive done in years#that hasn't also taken me like 20 hours to make#her outfit is a loose mashup of her origins comic outfit (bc its cute!!!) and her pirate style (be it's cute!!!)#also i didn't do her horns on purpose i couldn't get the angle right and went fuck it#again!!! this was supposed to be a loose sketch lol#jester lavorre#critical role#i may update this later when i figure out how to upload nice quality and not this grainy thing#my stuff#art is hard#fealty jester#(by technicality and by cleavage shown)#a heart that howled fic
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apartment hunting lead me to a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck 🙏😭
#it just happened out of the blue??? so basically the gist of it was that i was handing documents on behalf of my mom and one of the people#in the office just went 'u can work for us here'#and i went huh?!?!?!?!!? but i mean hey why not. it's a great opportunity#might hold off on uni if i do get this job (which i hope i do augh please 🙏🙏😭😭😭)#aparently one who offered me the job was a recruiter so that explains it#i feel so nervous tho i mean it wont be the end of the world if i dont get it but i just hope i dont mess it up#i alr met the person whos gonna interview me he seems like a great dude too im just super fucking anxious aughhvghnhgv#that's it for the small update i swear more art soon a lot has been happening lately so yk its kinda hard to find time to finish things#frambling...?
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cleo sertori had a fear of swimming since she was a child and nobody considered for a second that getting stranded on a boat in the middle of the sea then falling into a cave system where she had to swim through subterranean water tunnels to the ocean where she had to tread water until a s&r team found them would be traumatic and exacerbate her fear into full aquaphobia
secretly becoming a mermaid helped her get over her fear but to everybody else her being cagey about the pool party and washing the dishes makes 100% sense when they stop for a moment and consider she’s probably terrified
#h2o just add water#cleo sertori#lewis like ‘i don’t know what’s going on with her lately’ bestie you know what’s going on#they were missing for hours#it’s fucking rude that her parents weren’t more supportive like ik it was the 2000s and nobody believed in therapy but it wouldn’t be that#hard to switch cleo from dishwashing to hoovering and bin duty or fucking. yard work. or if it’s about helping out at dinnertime they could#teach her how to cook she could do meal prep#honestly not enough people thought cleo was pretty courageous like she was out there facing her fear everyday#she went through those tunnels she painted her room like the ocean and kept fish she helped emma with her training before the incident on#mako she was trying to overcome her fear every day#also. emma’s parents thinking she had depression and trying to help was A+ parenting but it was also possible that emma was also traumatise#like?? it’s one thing to swim in a pool and be fast it’s another to push against currents while pulling your friend who can’t swim#and the tunnels were long too they almost ran out of air#i think after that her reluctance to swim should make a bit of sense lmao
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that godforsaken drawing on the right was so hard and took me so long I might never color it so here you go
#Sol says they’re going to kill him. Karamatsu says he doubts that#his stupid outfit was so hard to draw i swear im never doing it again .#sketch took me like 3 days and 4 tries and this lineart took me like two days or so#they’re so fucking. ugh#Sol is a vampire Hunter for reasons that I talked about in another post and I like to think that karamatsu was just another random target#but uhm obviously things did not go as planned#I have more ideas for this AU but I never wanna look at his overcomplicated vampire outfit ever again#they hate each other. It’s awesome.#my art#ososan#karamatsu#vamp au#solkara#sol ososan#self insert#karamatsu matsuno#osmt#hesokuri wars#vampirematsu#i’m gonna self reblog this one like a bunch because yall don’t understand the pain that I went through trying to draw that stupid pose
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